As It Is

There are many things about not having children that makes life an entirely exhilarating experience. An unadulterated sense of freedom, a ready access to peace and quiet.

It’s getting clearer and clearer that I’ll probably never be a mother, and it’s surprising to me - I am not sure how and why it happened, because unfortunately, I was never blessed with one of these profound "no kids for me!" instincts. I was never one to dream about motherhood either.

Being one or the other would have been so much more comfortable, but I like to complicate things, so instead I dragged myself on a journey through the joys of infertility treatments, and through thousands of hours of conversations with people to know if I should have children.

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Yeah, I do that.
When I am not sure about something, I just ask. Absolutely anyone. And I am never sure about anything, so.
I’ve been said to ask if I should buy a car to my barista at the coffee shop.

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Asking if we should have kids to anyone else than ourselves is th…