How to Receive

I love this suspended week, the one right before the new year. If I am able to, I take a lot of time for resting and contemplating on the year past.
I write, I sleep, I have conversations with my friends.

Then I dream about what the new year could be.

Last year, I had written one simple thing.

I want to learn how to receive.

—

A simple wish.

Not surprising, seeing the context.

At the end of 2019, probably emotionally ripe for it, I had a short story with a man who shattered my ego completely. He challenged me because I felt something with him I had never felt before. It was in everything he did, everything he was. Call it masculine energy.

I had no idea how to behave with such a guy and went at dating my usual way, like a warrior goes to a battle. Trying to impress him - and succeeding, I charged with all my might to lead the dance, not realizing that in so doing I was pushing him away.

We clashed against each other and strong. The battle of egos was silent but constant, and he probably picked …