The Best Present

My friend, famous and beautiful, one of those fantastic ladies that look like they made life their b*tch (ridiculous expression, yet, in her case, so appropriate), has all of the secrets to glamour and charisma, and knew exactly what I needed when I asked her what I should get for my husband’s birthday. 

“This.” She said as I received a photo of herself in her lingerie, so sexy that I gasped.

“I offered these photos to my husband, and he’s never gotten over them. He says it’s the best present I’ve ever offered him—and we’ve been together thirty years.” She texted.

I nodded and looked at myself. There I was, on my couch, lounging in my sexy oversized sweatpants, my sexy cup of coffee resting on my sexy chest, my sexy glasses at the tip of my sexy nose and my sexy hair in a sexy greasy bun. 

Mmm. I had to admit that no amount of sexy adjectives in front of every word—or trying hypnotise my guy by repeating that “sweats are hot”—actually trumped reality.

I am lucky that he is one of those men…