The Magic Numbers

I used to be a swimmer. One day, a friend of the family told me:
”Careful with all the swimming, you’re getting really big!”

I stopped swimming the next day, found a scale, weighed myself, and started hiding under big sweaters.

—

My mother was always on a diet. She was young and sexy, it was the 90’s and models were sporty and fit. There was no way she was going to let me get fat.

So, of course, I did get “fat”.

—

It probably did traumatize me but I don’t think she was the source of all my ailments. She is not the reason why I have always struggled with my weight:

My sister and my brother have always been thin. No struggle. Same parents, same environment, same food!

I have struggled with my weight because of many things, some I can explain, some I can’t. But most of it is my physical make up.

—

I have always believed in magic.

I’ve believed that with a good therapy, I should be able to grow a healthy relationship with food.
I’ve believed that with letting myself put on weight,
I’ve believed that wi…