Undateable
How to become impossible, in 15 lessons.
I’ve become undateable. It took years of work, and I’m very proud of it.
Not that I’m dating. But my friends are, and we’re talking about this a lot. How do you date today? How do you do relationships? How do you build a life with someone when you’ve already built your life? Separate bedrooms? Separate bathrooms? Separate apartments? Separate continents?
Without going that far and deep—we talk a lot about dating.
I had already realized, in my early forties, that I was an odd object on the dating shelf. I was still dateable enough by then—though a lot of it was on the account of pretending I was absolutely normal and totally easygoing. Doing everything I could to fit in, and to be chosen.
But there is a certain point in life, which has to do less with age and more with emotional maturity, when you don’t really want to be chosen anymore. F@%ck being chosen.
All you want is to choose.
And if you read until the end, you’ll understand this is the absolute best thing you can do. But before we get there—15 lessons. None of them easy, all of them worth it.
Two apologies before we begin: this is entirely heterocentric, which I regret—but that’s what I know. And I use the word f@#k several times. Which I don’t regret—because sometimes, it’s just what you need.
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1/ Start noticing patterns early.
