You have one life, be hot!

The other day, I was there, sitting in the chair, talking gaily to the doctor as he was preparing my needle of Bo…

What, we’ve never talked about Botox?

Oh, all right!  Let’s do it then.

…Tox, when I thought : “Wow, how did I get here?”

How did I get so relaxed? The first time I did Botox, I was there in the chair FREAKING OUT because of all the things that could go wrong:

• Is it going to hurt?

• Am I becoming that woman?

(That woman : the woman who starts with a little bit of fillers, a tiny bit of Botox, and soon proceeds to completely lose the plot of her face until the day you see her walking down the street and walk by, thinking “Do I know that person?”)

• Does Botox Make Me A Bad Person? (DBMMABP?)

• Is one side of my face going to melt?

• Is it going to rain crickets on me for indulging in so much vanity?

I was in my late thirties, and starting to see the effects of my debauched lifestyle. Kidding. I was just, you know, aging. A little here and there. I still am, by the way. Every. Bloody. Second.