You'll be ready sooner than you think

I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly Graham’s phone rings.

I can hear clearly in his voice that he hasn’t recognized the phone number : “Helleeeeu?” (imagine a British accent) and hear his voice changing from curious to very very warm. “Oh, hi mate!!!”

Pretending to be oblivious to my environment but actually listening like I am MI5 on mission, I realize it’s a restaurant calling us because, YES MATE, if everything goes according to plan we’ll have a table at his favorite restaurant and we can go and sit and eat like normal adults.

I feel joy. I think?

The truth is, I don’t know.

What I truly feel is like a bird who suddenly is feeling very uncomfortable flying away from its cage. Dreaming of freedom but feeling like I wouldn’t really know what to do with it.

It reminds me of each time I reached out for something new, how wobbly, how messy, how small I felt. Whether I had chosen it or not, jumping into the new, into the unknown, how frail I felt.

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How many times …