18 Comments

I ask them if they have a book they read they like or what are hobbies they enjoy and get them talking about themselves or poke about to find a common enough interest.

Expand full comment
founding

“What do you most enjoy doing when you are not at these things?” - sometimes works well and can get into a nice snowball effect…♥️

Expand full comment

That's a good one. Copying :)

Expand full comment

im exactly the same with names and often worry I may have some sort of early onset cognitive decline. It feels comforting to know that this may be "normal" for many.

Expand full comment

I ask people about themselves. Not "And what do *you* do?" but things like "Yesterday, I saw an article online that reminded me of what I enjoyed most about _____. I wish I'd kept a journal on that trip. Where've you been that you could write a book about if you had the time?

Expand full comment

My husband and I are both shockingly bad with names, so now we just know we need to introduce ourselves 😂

As for the conversation points, I used to pick about 3 current “hot topics” relevant to the event before hand, ie “I’ve just finished reading about ……., what did you think of it?” “I went to ……. Last week and loved…… have you seen it?” But my favourite would be, “I’ve just spotted …… do you know them? Let’s go over and say hi” then as soon as they are in conversation hightail it outta there 😂

Expand full comment

This is so interesting my husband is exactly like you in a sense that he doesn't know how to talk for " nothing" , so he let me do the job which I hate doing as well. I always tell people don't mind him he is a bear, cause indeed it can seems rude. But I must admit with the age I don't force myself anymore too much to do it either. I try to avoid as much as possible to have “fake” conversation now as my daughters are bigger I don't need to socialize that much :)

Expand full comment

I just joined a Masterclass that was literally about how to avoid small talk at a networking event, (or in life), and I was not the only attendee, so we’re not alone! I think many of us dread it. Maybe we can just be honest about it? I do agree that it can be hard when, after having asked a question, it turns out that you and the other person have nothing in common. Things can get boring quickly

Expand full comment

Which Masterclass is this!!

Expand full comment

It’s called ‘Magnetic Speaking — Cut the Small Talk’ and it’s a masterclass by Sharon Epskamp from House of Fluxx. It’s part of a masterclass series on Magnetic Speaking. If you like, I can give her your email address so she can give you access to the replay

Expand full comment

Oh yes… embarrassing for the names when they don’t come back on your tongue !

I usually compliment them like “ this very distinguished gentleman is …” and then the TRUTH like “I am sorry I have a severe problem with first names, please forgive me ! “…. And my warm smile comes to my rescue …. 😊

I am lucky to receive lots of customers from all over the world all year, so I had to learn the art of conversation, my trick is to ask genuine questions about them. The city where they live, their hobbies , if they are British, I always start the conversation with the weather, it is an ice breaker every time 😀!!!!

Expand full comment

The worst is when you remember the name of the person you’ve bumped into and forget the name of the person you’re with - and it can be a really good friend. social nervousness and my head implodes with intentions and memories.

Expand full comment

10 minutes? That’s a pretty decent chunk of your life to gift someone! I normally give out after about 3 minutes of awkwardness and sweating.

My best ‘icebreaker’ and I use it in many circumstances is to ask ‘what they are grateful for today’. I also suggest they reciprocate the question. I’ve found it’s the surest way to stop and make them think, discover something in common and have a more meaningful connected conversation. OR you find out they really are a psycho and best to exit left to the toilet. Enjoy getting out there!

Expand full comment

Omg. Was walking to lunch with a client a few weeks ago and ran into a fairly close acquaintance and was trying to introduce them (didn’t even need to) and totally blanked on the acqaintance’s name. I’m still shame shivering so many days later. Why didn’t I just say hi and keep walking?

Expand full comment

Garance! I am soon to move to the uk with my lovely dog and am really worried about travel as I travel with him everywhere! What’s the best option? Train and ferry? Then train again?

Expand full comment

You can fly with your sweet dog at your side on Bark Air or K9 Jets!

Expand full comment

It is truly wonderful that you will be living in Paris. Paris. I must go back there one day. Half of my Polish family lives in Paris and I've always had a flat for free for a whole holiday. But now that the kids are big (Nick 22 yo. Ada 29 yo) , it's very hard to find time for myself. I'm watching you and you remind me of me, flitting about in my life.

My family says, find a hobby. Of course. I found one, I paint oil paintings. I go for walks with my dog. I go to the gym every day and still feel lonely. What's the point? It's just that at 50, time seems to stop.

I'm only happy in Italy. On a beach near Castiglione delle Pescaia. That's when I live.

Expand full comment

I'll always ask people what they're watching at the moment or else chance my arm at a little small talk about learning conversation and cultural differences, although that's a fortunate charm afforded to those living abroad

Expand full comment