Yesterday I was reminded of a sentence that a man I was dating kept telling me. It would go like this. Him: “Want to hang out tomorrow?” Me: “Sure, when?” Him: “Don’t worry, I’ll find you.”
I love that. I was married to a similar idea, it was marriage based on convenience to my partner. Being divorced at 51 was definitely not fun, wish I would’ve done that” find me in another life. “ Will just continue living my best life until someone comes who is ready for domestic love. Good advice Garance, thank you for reminder : )
yes I dated a man like that once, he would say he would come by and would not and I wasted about 4 months on him then I kicked him to the curb. his dumb self was still calling texting me three years later so I blocked him. you are right it sounds sexy but at the time I was frantic and didn't make any plans and was always waiting for him. One day he and I had no plans so I went out to do something I wanted and he stopped by and the narcissist was angry I was not there waiting for him to decide to drop by. Ridiculous. I am with someone now who treats me like a queen, I found though I needed to value myself and feel worthy of being treated with love and respect and that I deserved someone who will make plans and keep them and treat me right.
You are so adorable, Garance! Yep, this kind of insanity seemed so fun and edgy even in my forties but then I started dating (and eventually living with) a man who pulled the same kind of stuff even under the same roof. And yeah, it sucked to turn 50 and start over in the relationship department, and it sucked to learn that after a lifetime of crappy relationships, it was (merely, haha) a giant attachment wound that allowed it in the first place. Oh well. I’ve followed you for ages and am so glad you’re writing about you from the other side! Xo
Yes. Sage advice. I have to remind myself of this. I sat at a park waiting for my casual boyfriend, I guess you’d have called him. He’d perused me I might add. And while he was more, transitional, I never treated him as such. However, he would play these silly games. I waited at the park and it dawned on me. Advice an aunt gave me and I followed when I was younger. Don’t wait. Do. And once they see you can do without them, they’ll either work for your respect or at the least you had a great day and move on. It may hurt, but the pain later will be much worse. So, yes. I guess you could say. Robin waits for no man unless he’s shown his worth. Because I’ve been blessed by guys who’ve assured me, I’m worth it. For the right guy 😊. Thank you for this reminder. I needed it.
I had a crush that would say “see you in the future” and I, also, thought it was cool and mysterious. BS it was rude and manipulative! Luckily, ended up with someone not mysterious and very kind ♥️
HALLELUJAH! My husband is a "pick you up at 7" guy. 24 years later im happier than I was when we first married. Excellent note. Thank you on behalf of the single girls out there.
I understand. Don’t wait around is more than the point! A man who is “into you” will make plans to see you, as you are their purpose. Read the book “he’s just not into you” truly an eye opener
So nicely written, I love this. For me it was my thirties and that crazy book The Rules, it was full of silliness but the underlying message I took away was value yourself.
Well said!
I love that. I was married to a similar idea, it was marriage based on convenience to my partner. Being divorced at 51 was definitely not fun, wish I would’ve done that” find me in another life. “ Will just continue living my best life until someone comes who is ready for domestic love. Good advice Garance, thank you for reminder : )
I am also 51 and getting divorced and wished I had same this too. You are not alone
We are together in this = )
yes I dated a man like that once, he would say he would come by and would not and I wasted about 4 months on him then I kicked him to the curb. his dumb self was still calling texting me three years later so I blocked him. you are right it sounds sexy but at the time I was frantic and didn't make any plans and was always waiting for him. One day he and I had no plans so I went out to do something I wanted and he stopped by and the narcissist was angry I was not there waiting for him to decide to drop by. Ridiculous. I am with someone now who treats me like a queen, I found though I needed to value myself and feel worthy of being treated with love and respect and that I deserved someone who will make plans and keep them and treat me right.
You are so adorable, Garance! Yep, this kind of insanity seemed so fun and edgy even in my forties but then I started dating (and eventually living with) a man who pulled the same kind of stuff even under the same roof. And yeah, it sucked to turn 50 and start over in the relationship department, and it sucked to learn that after a lifetime of crappy relationships, it was (merely, haha) a giant attachment wound that allowed it in the first place. Oh well. I’ve followed you for ages and am so glad you’re writing about you from the other side! Xo
Love this! We’ve all done it. Good to know we are on the other side of it. Thanks for the reminder of how far we have come.
Yup! The guy who said meet me at 7 and was ALWAYS there and ALWAYS on time…married that guy.
These are the best MEN. I have one too. Im forever grateful.
Yes. Sage advice. I have to remind myself of this. I sat at a park waiting for my casual boyfriend, I guess you’d have called him. He’d perused me I might add. And while he was more, transitional, I never treated him as such. However, he would play these silly games. I waited at the park and it dawned on me. Advice an aunt gave me and I followed when I was younger. Don’t wait. Do. And once they see you can do without them, they’ll either work for your respect or at the least you had a great day and move on. It may hurt, but the pain later will be much worse. So, yes. I guess you could say. Robin waits for no man unless he’s shown his worth. Because I’ve been blessed by guys who’ve assured me, I’m worth it. For the right guy 😊. Thank you for this reminder. I needed it.
* perused, not peruse lol
I had a crush that would say “see you in the future” and I, also, thought it was cool and mysterious. BS it was rude and manipulative! Luckily, ended up with someone not mysterious and very kind ♥️
This is my favorite note so far!!! Happy that finally I am to the point where consistency is sexy to me. Well said sweet lady!!! X
HALLELUJAH! My husband is a "pick you up at 7" guy. 24 years later im happier than I was when we first married. Excellent note. Thank you on behalf of the single girls out there.
I understand. Don’t wait around is more than the point! A man who is “into you” will make plans to see you, as you are their purpose. Read the book “he’s just not into you” truly an eye opener
Good advice. Enjoy your day!
This is my favorite note! Definitely struck a chord.
The way that someone saying that to me would have absolutely sent me! Makes me thankful that I married a man who set definite plans + stuck to 'em!
So nicely written, I love this. For me it was my thirties and that crazy book The Rules, it was full of silliness but the underlying message I took away was value yourself.
Garance I love this note, thank you thank you thank you! Let’s not surrender our needs on the men’s altars just to seem cool! Very well written 🧡
Also, how gorgeous you look in that pic 🎈